College Admissions & the Parent Reality Distortion Field

Having spent many years in university as a student and working at one, my worldview on college admissions has suddenly gotten very interesting (forehead-slapping kind of interesting). And it’s got a Shakespearean twist with certain actors (the fools) getting agitated over their own reality distortion field having a moment of clarity.

Really. There are no rules to college admissions. A simple, but not easy concept for people to fathom. Thus, we are witnessing in the news media stream reports of a variety of parental gaffs. The current spotlight is on the celebrity parents who fell for the (bad) college counseling advice and, as (bad) parents, put their child at risk.

I also am now seeing reports of lawsuits which are exposing “glass half empty” parents who need something to blame for their insecurity. They should come to grips with the fact that every “failure” is a learning opportunity and to value it. Would they rather have had their borderline child get accepted in the more competitive (reach) college and subject them to the trauma of being in the lowest quartile? Is dropping out an option they’re willing to risk? How about becoming a “C” student?

And there was a LinkedIn post by an executive who is a parent of a soon-to-be preschooler (let’s make this parent category #3 where the parents are still quite some distance from thinking about college). There is a lot of good advice in the article especially about making the best with failures because we all experience it with some frequency. However, it does not evaluate the current college admission news-front holistically and from within the storm.

And let’s not forget the parents who retain college admissions consulting services and SAT/ACT prep. Are these really “fair” advantages since they are not evenly available and used? Do they provide a true impression of the student?

Lastly, what about the parents of students admitted “through extraordinary channels” who are not in the current dragnet? What should we do about them?

As far as my YCISL worldview goes, this is a teaching opportunity for parents. This is a pivotal historical moment where we can choose to recognize that parents need help understanding their responsibilities in this process better. Can we have a revolution that lays out what college admissions really is? This is what I am asking myself with regards to the YCISL program. Could I leverage my contact with youth to get them to tell their parents what college admissions is really about? Can we use our lessons in active listening, emotional intelligence, Your Personal Story, leadership, elevator pitch and divergent-convergent thinking to get parents out of their reality distortion field?


Top 3 Tips for Parents in the College Admissions Phase

  • The SAT/ACT results are useful only to college admissions staff who need some excuse to cut their stack of applications. They do not provide an indication of an applicant’s intelligence or intellect or likelihood for academic success. No instructor ever sees these scores when they teach a course. These tests are as meaningless to parents as the commercial college rankings. Be thankful that there are test-optional applications available now.
  • GPA is almost as short-lived and meaningless as SAT/ACT scores. It is another way to reduce college admissions staff workload. GPA is a cumulative reflection of circumstance and academic resonance. A high school GPA is especially a cruel joke because of the varying GPA scale from student to student (and in college, there is a similar fuzziness due to how A+ grades are distributed and weighted).
  • There are no guarantees – for admission, for academic success in college, and for career paths. Quite the opposite. It’s about revealing one’s character and characteristics under varying conditions of uncertainty. And the benefit of all this is the exploration, discovery and story-building of a meaningful life.

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