Confidence, character, determination and cheerfulness are wonderful and attractive personal assets, but these produce a very sweet combination with some vulnerabilities. If thought about deeply, its not hard to see that one can be admired for sucess, feared for power, praised for character, but can only be loved for vulnerabilites.

Why do vulnerabilities help cause love? After all a logical viewpoint would indicate that appearing vulnerable would cause repungance.

It seems to me that we all carry our own little insecurities as we interact with others. Oblivious of the fact the similar dynamics are prevailing in the other party, we sometimes get insecure; the extent of discomfort would be small in people who enjoy high levels of self-confidence and esteem. Directly expressed or perceived vulnerabilities cause insecurities of the other party to be suspended, and thats a tremendous relief. For instance, I've heard that women are concious about many a things: their height, their weight, their looks, the size of their breasts; so all you men have to do when you feel concious about yourselves it to figure out something to say that genuinely compliments her. Does that sound like making sense?

Setting mutual insecurities to rest might not be solely responsible for causing attraction and love. Expressed or perceived vulnerabilities cause one to appear accessible. And you feel like loving and taking care of the vulnerable one, don't you?


July 2003, New York
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