Parenthood is a gift that makes our kind feel complete. We learn and grow ourseves as the nascent life evolves. Eastern and western schools of thought have overlapping padigmns for explanation of what shapes the personality of an individual. There are conflicting views on the determining effects of childhood events on personality. However, the secure, avoidant and anxious personalities [1] have been evidenced to evolve depending on whether for instance during childhood the mother feels secure when the baby cries, avoids her or gets anxious. Eastern and religious views mention a child bringing her own personality into the world. Genetic influences on child behaior have also been documented.

As divine a gift as it is, parenthood comes with several challenge. Icessant crying and sleepless nights do take their toll, although the sacrifices seems much too little. Growing up, and especially during the teenage period when they find themselves going through physical and emotional changes, children will talk back to you and assert themselves in ways which nmight be wrong. Avoidance or detachment can lead them to drugs, addictions, bad company and several many things which when they are gown adults will hamper them from leading a fulfilling life. Investment in a child during their early years can go a long way in inculcating wisdom and compassion in them.

Empathy happens to be a valuable asset that children can learn. Telling them stories with vivid characters and mentioning how different characters feel, is a great excecise [2]. Spiritual practices and meditation can help calm their minds. The significance of empathy and compassion cannot be emphasized enough. Several effective communication texts [2] talk about thought and conceptual empathy. If we verbalize what we listen, we make the talker feel listened to. If we acknowledge how they feel, we relate to them conceptually. Invoking similar experiences and our imagination at the time of listening is an invaluable way to connect with another person, and to extend compassion to them.

And when your kids are all grown up, they will have their opinions and preferences. They will make their own choices and decisions. One of the hardest things that nature and society tests us with is to let go of them. Its just the way a father feels when his girl, who is so little in his eyes, walks away with this man who she thinks is the most wonderful porson in the world.
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[1] Seligman, M.E.P. (2002). Authentic Happiness. New York: Free Press.
[2] Ladner, L. (2004). The Lost Art of Compassion. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.
[3] Burns, D. D. (1990). The feeling good handbook. New York: Penguin Group .