A Breakfast Date
by Geoffrey
Skinner and Brian Kunde
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June
1, 1993.
Kit’s eyes snapped open as his alarm clock rang at seven o’clock
sharp and his arm automatically reached up to fold down the covers. He had wanted plenty of time to get ready and
start breakfast before Lily came. He
swiveled on his rump to bring his legs to the side of the bed, dropped them overboard,
and stood up. Only then did he turn the
alarm off. The racket didn’t
particularly bother him. It was time to
get up, and it was getting him up, after all.
He wondered how Lily was getting up, and smiled wryly. No doubt there would be a new dent in her
bedroom wall. Kit had never understood the hostile
feelings Lily and other people had for their alarm clocks. The clock only did what you told it to, so
there was no point in blaming it if you didn’t want to get up at the time you
had set it for. Yet Lily managed to
destroy her clocks on a regular basis, he had noticed, while Kit continued to
use the little winding alarm he’d picked up in The sun shone through the window and
lighted the wall. He walked to the light
and stood there in his white underwear, letting the sun warm him. Lily said he ought to hang the room with
posters or paintings or something. She
was sure she could find something suitable.
But Kit resisted. His white,
blank walls were one of the few things he was determined to keep
unchanged. They gave him a sense of
peace that seemed particularly useful on a morning like this. If Lily weren’t so determined to drive his
car, he could think of a number of ways he would rather spend his Sunday
morning than giving her driving lessons.
Still, he would rather that she knew how to drive his car properly so
she wouldn’t ruin it. It was a minor
miracle that the car had survived yesterday’s escapades with only minor
scratches. He was pretty sure she would
find a way to drive it, lessons or not.
He really felt as strongly about the car as his walls, but it was a lot
easier to keep her out of the bedroom than out of the driver’s seat. He wished he understood Lily better. She, like the Deity, moved in mysterious
ways. He tried his best to be
sympathetic to her mood swings and cater to her whims, but he could only guess
so much. Were all women like her? He didn’t have much experience and he guessed
that since most of the women he knew had some connection to Lily, they would
probably mystify him as much as she did. Lily’s sudden demands to drive his car
puzzled him and upset him, partly because he didn’t truly want her driving it
and partly because it seemed connected to her recent moodiness. That she was driving his old car when they
had the accident didn’t help his own mood, even if she hadn’t actually caused
it. He wondered if simply giving in to
her demands for lessons were a mistake.
He had been giving in on just about everything lately, hoping that she
would be her usual cheery and wild self, but he didn’t think she was getting
happier yet. She might be happier if he
insisted on driving her all over the place as he had for the last several
months--one could never tell with her.
Now that he had promised her lessons, he guessed she would get very
angry if he tried to back out. It seemed
like he couldn’t really win either way, so they might as well do the lessons as
promised. Kit stretched and walked to the closet,
where he closed his eyes again. It was
time to pick the day’s outfit, and it often went better when he couldn’t see
what he was picking. He reached into the
closet and found a shirt, pulled it off the hanger, felt around for a pair of
pants and when he had found one, pulled them out, too. He opened his eyes and looked at his
electric blue shirt in his right hand and the Kelly green pants with
red-checkered pockets in the other. Oh,
good, he thought when he opened his eyes again, Lily will be pleased. Now he had taken care of that little ritual,
he decided he had time for a brief shower before starting breakfast. As he waited for the water to get hot, he
thought about a plan for the lessons. It
seemed wise to stay in town and drive on the streets that they both knew well. Kit didn’t want to be very far from home if
they got into trouble, and going out on the highway with Lily behind the wheel
was asking for trouble. Maybe they could
conclude the lesson at lunch time at the plaza and get something to eat. He slipped his arm past the shower curtain
to check the water, adjusted the temperature and stepped in. He closed his eyes
and let the water course over his head. The pleasant feeling of hot water made
him want to sing, so he launched into “Singing in the Rain.” He couldn’t remember more than “I’m just
singing in the rain,” so after repeating the line couple times, he moved on to
one of Ted’s songs, “Storm Warning.” It
fit his mood a little better, in any event. “Storm warning tonight Make fast the sail Batten down the hatches There’ll be rough seas and ...” Crash! Kit stopped singing. What the hell was that? he wondered. The noise sounded like it had come from the
kitchen. He stuck his head around the
shower curtain. He couldn’t see anything
through the crack in the door, so he hurriedly shut off the water and grabbed a
towel. He ran to the kitchen, clutching
the towel around his middle and dripping all the way. He stopped just short of the door and leaned
his head to one side so he could peer in. Lily was sprawled on the floor amid a
variety of pots from an upper cabinet.
She was wearing a bright yellow shirt and pale orange shorts that Kit didn’t
recognize; he supposed they must be her Sunday best. When she spotted him, she glared. “Why don’t
you keep your pots below the counter like everybody else?” she complained. Kit sighed. He wasn’t ready for the day to begin with a
surprise. “Are you okay?” he asked,
stepping into the room. “Yeah, I’m fine.” “Here, I’ll help you up.” Kit tucked in the edge of his towel so it
wouldn’t slip off and grabbed Lily’s outstretched arm. She braced herself against his bare feet
and let him haul her upright. That seemed to improve her mood because she
smiled at him. “Your kitchen is a very
dangerous place early in the morning.” “I thought I told you to be here at
eight,” Kit grumbled. “Oh, I intend to be. But I came to make you breakfast, first.” “I thought we had settled that issue.” “I know you did, you silly potato bud, but
I didn’t agree.” “Just what were you planning to make,
anyway?” “I dunno.
Waffles! Cereal! Maybe both, mixed together and stir-fried!” “And for that you needed a pot?” “Oh, absolutely! Come on, Kit, you never eat anything I
fix. It’ll do you good!” “It didn’t do Ted any good,” Kit told her,
knowing it was a mistake, but unable to stop himself. “Fine!” Lily exploded. “Make your stupid breakfast! I’ll be out with
the car!” She stomped out of the room. “Don’t go singing any of his songs around me,
either, Kit!,” she yelled as she marched out of sight. “I didn’t even know you were here!” Kit
complained, but she was already slamming the front door. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath,
then snapped them open in panic as he wondered where he had left his keys. He hastily looked around the kitchen, fearing
she had somehow lifted them again. Letting Lily alone with the car was too
dangerous these days; he didn’t want her driving off without him and before
breakfast, at that. But the keys were still on the kitchen counter, right where
he’d left them the previous night. Relieved, he turned his attention to the
pots. “What was she going to make in these?” he
muttered. Kit himself hardly ever used them, which was why he kept them up and
out of the way. Lily’s a fine one to
talk about what other people do, he thought.
God knows where she keeps her pots. He had put the pots away and was getting
out the waffle iron when he heard a roar from outside. Now what? He ran out into the garage, past
the wreck of the old car, and into the driveway, still in his towel, which he
held tightly as it threatened to fall off.
Lily was behind the wheel of the new car, and its engine was churning
away. Mentally, he cursed himself for being an idiot. The keys in the table were the house keys, of
course! He’d never gotten around to
putting the keys to the new car on the same ring; they had been sitting right
on the table, in plain view for Lily to filch, and she had! “What are you doing?” Kit shouted at her. “I’m going off to breakfast,” she shouted
back. “See you later!” She put the car
in reverse and immediately killed it, having forgotten to take the emergency
brake off. “Oh, poop!” Kit opened the door. “Out,” he said. Lily pushed out her lower lip. “No. You promised me a lesson today.” Kit sighed. “After breakfast,” he told her. “Well, I’m going to breakfast!” “Not before your lesson, you aren’t. Out!” “No!” “Lily, what’s gotten into you? Are you mad because I wouldn’t let you fix
breakfast?” “I just want a meal out.” “What’s wrong with a meal in?” “It’s not out.” “Oh.
I see.” Actually, all Kit could
see was that he was going to have to readjust his plans for the day. But this
happened frequently when Lily was involved, and he was used to it. “All right,” he said. “Wait here while I get
some clothes on and lock up the house.”
Kit went back into the garage, pulled the door down, and shot the bolt.
Then he returned to the kitchen and shut and locked the door into the
garage. He went back to the bedroom and
quickly dressed. Finally he went to the
front door and made sure it was secure.
As he did so, he heard the car roar to life again outside. Letting himself out, he slammed the door
behind him and dashed down the front walk to the driveway. He got to the car
just as Lily managed to kill it again. “Oh, damn!” she said. “Lily, if I didn’t know better, I’d say
you were about to take off without me,” Kit said. In fact, he suspected she intended just that. Lily let out a brittle little laugh. “Just warming the car up,” she mumbled. “Anyway, you were taking too long.” “Well, move over, and I’ll drive us to the
plaza.” “Kit, I’m here for a driving lesson. How can I have it if you won’t let me drive
the car?” Kit gave up and went around to the
passenger side. Come to think of it, Lily’s driving was probably best
experienced on an empty stomach, anyway. “What’s all the stuff in the back seat?”
Kit asked as he got in. “Oh, just stuff,” Lily replied. “What difference does it make?” “Well, for one thing, you haven’t left
room for the dog.” “I don’t see him waiting to get in, do
you?” Kit looked. The dog was noticeably absent. Maybe he knows
who’s driving, Kit thought. Lily was
bouncing up and down in the seat beside him. “What’s the matter?” he asked. “I want to go!” “Now?
All right, I’ll wait. Here are
the keys to the house.” “No, you idiot! I want to get going!” “Oh.
Right.” Kit took stock for a
moment, reviewing procedures in his mind.
“Okay,” he started, “here’s how you back out of the driveway without
murdering the engine...” They had only driven a few blocks and Kit
already had a bad feeling about this driving lesson Lily had talked him
into. His stomach was growling and he
wanted to placate it as soon as possible, which meant they needed to take a
short route to the plaza. “Take a right
at the next stop sign,” he commanded. Lily rolled through the stop sign and
turned sharply to the left. “Hey!
We need to go the other direction!” Kit protested. “Sorry, I got confused which way was
right.” Kit frowned. He didn’t believe Lily for a moment because
he was the one who confused left and right, not her, but he just said,
“Okay. Take a right on Alejandro and we
can go around the block” Lily grunted. She drove past Alejandro without even slowing
down. “Didn’t you see the intersection?” “Sure I saw it. Didn’t want to take that street. Family of
cannibals lives down it. They might eat
us for breakfast.” “Take the next one, then. Diego Garcia.
We’re almost there.” Lily didn’t say anything. She just stared straight ahead. Kit looked out his window and watched Diego
Garcia slide by. “Look, Lily,” Kit tried to reason, an edge
of panic creeping into his voice, “If you want a driving lesson, the streets
between here and the old plaza are a great course. When we get there, we can eat at the
Muckraker and then practice some more.” “I don’t want to practice driving in
town. I want to do is practice on a
highway. Not as many surprises -- dogs, kids, cannibals, that kind of thing.” No wonder she was heading east toward the
edge of town. Kit supposed that he could
grab the wheel, but they might have an accident, particularly if Lily fought
back. He just wasn’t ready for a fight on an empty stomach. “Do me one favor, okay?” “What is it?” Lily was staring out the windshield. She had
barely looked at him since they pulled out of the driveway. “Don’t take Highway 101. It’s too busy, even on a Sunday. We can go west on Lily turned her head toward him and looked
at him with her head cocked slightly and her eyebrows raised. “Those aren’t really highways like I mean,
but I promise I won’t drive on Highway 101.” Some of the panic drained away. Kit relaxed a little. “Good.
I’m glad that’s settled.” He was impressed by how well Lily drove as
they headed toward “Take a right here.” They had reached Lily stayed in the left lane instead and
accelerated as she turned left through the green light. “Uh...that’s a very nice turn, but where
in the world are we going?” Kit felt the
panic returning. “Don’t want to go to El Camino. Don’t want to the plaza.” Kit could see her stubborn pout
forming. I could argue, he thought, but
I have a feeling it wouldn’t do a bit of good.
I know that look. Lily’s got some
idea under her hat and she’d find a way to follow it no matter what I might
want to do. On the other hand, I don’t want to lose another car in the space a
few weeks. No telling what she is up
to. He drew himself up to protest. “Could you at least tell me where we’re
going?” His voice sounded plaintive, not commanding, as he had intended. “You’ll see. It’s better than the plaza. I’m tired of the plaza.” “Is it close?” His stomach was growling louder. He couldn’t fight on an empty stomach. “Not far.” They lapsed into silence until they
reached Highway 84 at the edge of the Bay.
When Lily turned east and drove toward the “What did you say? “Nothing.
I said `The car is going over the bay.’” That made Lily glance at him with a
puzzled look on her face. He raised his
eyebrows back at her and didn’t say anything else. She turned back to the road and Kit looked
out his window at the transmission towers marching across the southern end of
the Bay beyond the old railroad bridge.
They made him think of Uncle Chuckles who had once told him that
high-tension lines were clotheslines for the giants that lived along the “Time to eat!” Lily said at last, slowing down in front of a
dumpy roadside diner in Sunol. She
hadn’t been kidding about going somewhere else. They had continued east once
they were over the “I don’t like it,” he said glumly. “I still want to go the Muckraker.” “Don’t be a pooper. I want breakfast now. The Muckraker’s too far away and we always go
there.” The car rolled to a stop just beyond the
entrance. The motor died with a jerk. “You’ve gotta remember to put the clutch
in when you stop!” “Sorry.”
Lily patted the dash. “I’ll do
better next time, old car.” They got out and walked around the car to
front door of Tanner’s Lunch. Kit hoped they weren’t closed; the name wasn’t
very promising as far as breakfast was concerned. He felt relieved to see a small `Open’ sign
hanging inside the sagging and torn screen door. “Such a gentleman,” Lily commented when he
held the door for her. “I try.” They stepped inside and the screen door
banged behind them. Kit squinted, hard
put to see anything in the dim interior.
A couple of old men were sitting with coffee at a counter. They both glanced up briefly before returning
their attention to their mugs. Another old man sat reading a newspaper at one
of the three tables jammed against the wall opposite the counter. A short woman
with gray curly hair and a dark blue apron stood behind the counter, her hand
on the coffee pot. She smiled and nodded
at Kit and Lily. As they sat down at the
table closest to the door, she pulled a pair of menus from the wire holder by
the cash register. “Like coffee this
morning?” she asked cheerfully, laying the menus on their table. Without awaiting an answer, she began pouring
a thick black liquid into Kit’s coffee cup.
Kit gathered it was a pro forma request. “Thanks,” he said. Kit didn’t usually touch the stuff, but felt
in need of something to help him keep going; the morning had been rougher than
he had expected. Lily shook her head, “I’ll pass, no.” The waitress frowned slightly and moved
on. Apparently refusing coffee was not something that was done in Sunol. They stared at their menus in
silence. Kit was having a hard time
deciding between eggs and hash browns or pancakes. He wondered what Lily would order. She was
probably going to ask for the dinner menu or some such nonsense. “Eggs, please,” she called to the woman,
who had returned to the far side of the counter. “Sunny side up. Hash browns, too.” Kit looked at her sharply. That was too normal. He couldn’t remember her
ordering a standard breakfast in a long time.
Maybe he should order something strange; she would surely want something
else by the time her eggs arrived. “I’ll have pancakes, please, and also a
glass of orange juice,” he said. He hoped they would be exotic enough if Lily
didn’t want eggs. The woman busied herself for the next few
minutes frying the eggs and pancakes on the stove behind the counter. Lily
turned around in her chair and grabbed a newspaper section from a pile of used
magazines and such by the front door.
She didn’t offer one to Kit and he didn’t feel like getting up, so he
tried to read hers upside down while they waited. The headlines were easy – Kit could turn the
big, bold letters around in his mind till they made sense. “Wild Ride on the
Midnight Cable Car!” And “Ghosts Mug 7 at Busy Intersection!” The stories were another matter-- he quickly
felt a headache coming on as he stared at the hieroglyphics. The cook rescued him by coming over with
two steaming plates of food. Kit was so hungry that he could barely wait for
her to put it on the table. He liked pancakes, but the Muckraker’s were so
lousy he rarely ordered them, and he didn’t usually feel up to making any
himself. He spread a big knife- blade of
butter over them and sloshed the syrup across the stack. He tipped some orange juice into his mouth
before diving in. He closed his eyes and
breathed deeply. These smelled like great pancakes! Maybe the drive had been worthwhile after
all. He quickly stabbed his plate and picked up a bite of ... eggs! He looked
down and discovered that his lovely plate of pancakes was sitting in front of
Lily, who was busy sawing away at them with her knife. She seemed to notice him staring at her,
and looked up. There was an expectant
look on her face. What does she want?
Kit wondered. She’s got my
breakfast. There was no point arguing,
so he turned his attention to the plate in front of him, missing the flash of
disappointment on his companion’s face.
Lily’s eggs actually looked pretty good, though Kit wasn’t as excited
about eggs as about pancakes. He
supposed he could order more pancakes, but didn’t want to wait any longer. He
resigned himself to the plate in front of him and quickly gobbled up
everything. They didn’t talk at all through the whole
meal. Lily had her paper propped up between them and Kit read the ads for diet
programs and miracle pills on the back while he waited for her to finish. She finally put the paper down and looked at
him. “I guess we should pay and get back
to the lesson,” she said. Kit waited for Lily to pick up the bill
that the cook had dropped on the table, but she just looked at him expectantly. “Oh, all right,” he said at last, glancing at
the check and fishing out his wallet. He
put a ten dollar bill on the table next to the check and stood up. “Did you enjoy my pancakes?” he asked. “Glad you ordered them for me,” Lily
replied blithely, ignoring the sarcasm. “Come again!” the cook called from behind
the counter. Kit looked back and smiled
at her as he opened the door. The old
men ignored them. Kit held the door for
Lily, who took one last glance at the paper before returning it to the stack by
the door and stepping outside. “Can we head home now?” Kit pleaded,
wishing the car keys might suddenly slip out of Lily’s grasp and find their way
back to his pocket. “Not quite yet. I like it here. I want to drive around some more.” The possibility of Lily giving up the keys
seemed remote, at best. He decided the
best he could do for now would be to continue instructing her on how not to
kill them both. Maybe she would get tired of her little game after a while and
they could go home. He had a strong
desire to go the plaza with his trombone and play for a hour or two. It would be so much calmer and safer! To his surprise, she did seem to get
better as the day wore on. They
survived the hilly, curvy drive to “The walnut orchards are very nice this
time of year,” said Kit, trying to make conversation. Lily grunted, but didn’t actually say
anything. She did slow down suddenly and pull into a fruit stand. “We need fruit,” she declared. She stomped on the brake and skidded slightly
in the brown, powdery dust. A few minutes later, they were back on the
road with a bag of assorted grapes, melons and peaches, all paid for by Kit,
and another bag of sweet corn that they had bought for just a dollar. Kit anticipated getting out his steamer pot
back home and steaming up the whole lot of corn. Of course it would be so late by the time
they got home that he probably wouldn’t want to bother until tomorrow. “You must be tired from so much driving!
Would you like me to drive for a while?” “No thanks, I’m not tired yet and I’m
having fun.” Kit felt disappointed. He had hoped she would fall for it so he
could take them back home. He studied
her face. She was bent forward slightly; her hair fell forward and mostly
covered her face. He could see enough of
the firm set of her jaw to doubt that she was having all that much fun. She turned her head toward him and said,
“What are you looking at?” “I dunno.”
Kit turned back to the walnut orchards going by. He hoped that she was telling the truth about
not being tired, because he was so drowsy he could barely keep his eyes
open. After a while, he decided to stop
fighting his eyelids and drifted off to the hypnotic roar of the engine. A sputtering and jerking suddenly knocked
Kit awake. He looked around, disoriented.
“What’s going on?” “I don’t know! The car just started making weird noises and
nothing’s happening when I press on the gas!” Lily sounded worried for the
first time that day. She demonstrated
the problem, making the car sputter even more. Kit looked at the gas gauge. The needle was lodged well below the empty
mark. “We’re out of gas,” he said. “How far to the nearest town?” “I don’t know,” wailed Lily. “I think we passed one a while back.” “Well, turn around. Maybe we can make it back there if we’re
lucky...” The engine died before he could even
complete the thought. Lily turned the
key in the ignition a couple of times to no avail. The car slowed. “Get us off the road!” Kit shouted.
He could imagine a truck barreling along the highway and flattening them
without even noticing they were stopped. The car was still rolling enough to carry
them to the shoulder. They came slowly
to a halt and Kit rolled down the window to look behind them. Nothing in sight. Not even a house. Just row after row of
walnut trees.