Men Against Violence
Become a member of Stanford’s Men Against Violence group.
- All people have the right to live their lives free of violence and men have a very important role to play in this effort to rid the Stanford community of violence.
- One purpose of the Men Against Violence group is to create a space where men can discuss how traditional gender roles and violence negatively affects the health and lives of men and how, in turn, that violence can be passed on to others in a community.
- All men, graduate and undergraduate students are strongly encouraged to get involved!
- Please contact Donnovan Yisrael for more information.
Yes, you can make a difference:
What Men Can Do to Stop Relationship Abuse
Resources for Men
Please Note: In addition to the resources listed on this page, the information and resources listed throughout this website, including counseling, apply to and are available for male survivors and their significant others.YWCA Sexual Assault Center
(650) 725-9955
Please call for counseling and resources. A male survivor and significant other packet can be sent to you as well as other information.
All Male Hotline (Oakland, CA)
(510) 845-7273
Mon-Fri, 7pm-10pm (must request a male counselor)
Community United Against Violence
Crisis Line: (415)333-HELP
Men's support group for gay, bisexual, transgendered male survivors of sexual assault or domestic violence.
Male Callers Only
(415) 924-1070
Monterey Rape Crisis Center support group for male survivors, led by Stephen Braveman, MFT.
(831) 373-3955
Male Survivor - National organization for male survivors
http://www.malesurvivor.org/
Information & Resources for Male Survivors
http://www.xris.com/survivor/
Men Can Stop Rape http://www.mencanstoprape.org
Men Can Stop Rape (formerly Men's Rape Prevention Project) empowers male youth and the institutions that serve them to work as allies with women in preventing rape and other forms of men's violence. Through awareness-to-action education and community organizing, we promote gender equity and build men's capacity to be strong without being violent.
MCSR is an outgrowth of D.C. Men Against Rape, a volunteer profeminist collective founded in 1987 by a handful of men seeking to raise their own and the community's consciousness about men's violence against women. In 1997, MCSR incorporated as a nonprofit organization with the goal of carrying forward and expanding on its original mission to increase men's involvement in efforts to end men's violence.
Now, we are a concerned community of men and women of all ages, from many walks of life, working locally, nationally, and internationally for peace, equity and gender justice. We are men and women who find strength in compassion and nonviolence and who strive to support young men who are courageous enough to challenge the "rape culture" in which we live.
We do not believe men's violence is inevitable. We believe that rape, battering, and other forms of men's violence are learned behaviors, choices that men make to exert power and control over others that are reinforced by a society that defines manhood through domination.
We believe that men can unlearn these damaging lessons and live peacefully with women and other men. To do so, however, we must redefine what it means to be a man.
Ten Things Men Can Do to Prevent Gender Violence
- Approach gender violence as a MEN'S issue involving men of all ages and socioeconomic, racial and ethnic backgrounds. View men not only as perpetrators or possible offenders, but as empowered bystanders who can confront abusive peers
- If a brother, friend, classmate, or teammate is abusing his female partner -- or is disrespectful or abusive to girls and women in general -- don't look the other way. If you feel comfortable doing so, try to talk to him about it. Urge him to seek help. Or if you don't know what to do, consult a friend, a parent, a professor, or a counselor. DON'T REMAIN SILENT.
- Have the courage to look inward. Question your own attitudes. Don't be defensive when something you do or say ends up hurting someone else. Try hard to understand how your own attitudes and actions might inadvertently perpetuate sexism and violence, and work toward changing them.
- If you suspect that a woman close to you is being abused or has been sexually assaulted, gently ask if you can help.
- If you are emotionally, psychologically, physically, or sexually abusive to women, or have been in the past, seek professional help NOW.
- Be an ally to women who are working to end all forms of gender violence. Support the work of campus-based women's centers. Attend "Take Back the Night" rallies and other public events. Raise money for community-based rape crisis centers and battered women's shelters. If you belong to a team or fraternity, or another student group, organize a fundraiser.
- Recognize and speak out against homophobia and gay-bashing. Discrimination and violence against lesbians and gays are wrong in and of themselves. This abuse also has direct links to sexism (eg. the sexual orientation of men who speak out against sexism is often questioned, a conscious or unconscious strategy intended to silence them. This is a key reason few men do so).
- Attend programs, take courses, watch films, and read articles and books about multicultural masculinities, gender inequality, and the root causes of gender violence. Educate yourself and others about how larger social forces affect the conflicts between individual men and women.
- Don't fund sexism. Refuse to purchase any magazine, rent any video, subscribe to any Web site, or buy any music that portrays girls or women in a sexually degrading or abusive manner. Protest sexism in the media.
- Mentor and teach young boys about how to be men in ways that don't involve degrading or abusing girls and women. Volunteer to work with gender violence prevention programs, including anti-sexist men's programs. Lead by example.
Male Rape
* The following section on male rape is taken from Hope for Healing at http://www.hopeforhealing.org/male.htmlIn 2002, one in every eight rape victims were male. (RAINN, 2003)
Yes, men can be victimized.
No, it does not mean you are weak.
Rape is NEVER the victim's fault.
Being victimized does not mean there's anything wrong with you and it does not mean you have to suffer alone. Men seem to have many of the same issues as women after they are raped but even less support. It's ok to want to talk about what happened. You don't have to keep things bottled up inside. You have done nothing to be ashamed of.
Rape is a crime about power and control.
The sexual preference of the victim (and sometimes the predator) often doesn't matter. Male rape survivors include heterosexuals, homosexuals, teenagers and children. Some men are drugged with chemicals known as date rape drugs. Others are not.
Prompt medical care is as important for men as it is for women. If you have been victimized please do not change your clothes, shower or otherwise clean up. If you do, valuable evidence may be lost. If you are reading this too late you still need to consider having a medical exam done as soon as possible to rule out injuries or disease.
Many men report difficulty sleeping, problems with nightmares, flashbacks, anger, fear and concentration after being victimized. If you have some of these problems it does not mean you are going crazy. You are reacting to what was a crazy situation. It take some time for you to feel like yourself again. It's a good idea to read about P.T.S.D. (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). PTSD is so common after rape that it is sometimes described as "a normal reaction to an abnormal event". Men and women can develop this reaction. Therapy and/or anti-anxiety medications can help.
More information on PTSD can be found here: http://www.hopeforhealing.org/ptsd
Support can be vital to heal. Sadly, men often find it hard to talk about and often do not get the support deserved. If this is the case, try calling a rape crisis center. They can offer counseling and support. Online support can be found at the following urls. Don't be afraid to reach out to other survivors. You deserve the support you need to heal.
The listing is incomplete as there are more sites being built on the web each day. To suggest a site email us at: hopeinfo@hopeforhealing.org or add your site to the add-a-link section from the front page.
For more support, an unmoderated list serve to serve the needs of male survivors is offered here:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mensurvivors
http://www.xris.com/survivor/msa/index.html
Same Sex Violence
If you believe you are a victim of same sex violence, please contact the police (911) immediately. If you are uncertain about notifying the police, you may also contact the YWCA (650-725-9955) for immediate counseling and resources.
For more information or if you have any suggestions, please contact Carole Pertofsky or Laurette Beeson. Thank you!- Sexual Violence Advisory Board
For additional information and resources, including counseling, on men's issues of sexual assault or abusive relationships, please visit: Please Note: In addition to the resources listed on this page, the information and resources listed throughout this website, including counseling, are available to friends and male victims of controlling and abusive relationships, sexual assault and other similar abusive situations. Sexual assault and abusive relationships are not just a women's issue, they're a human issue.
