Dan Klein

Dan Klein is the coach of the SImps. A SImp of old yore, Dan has traveled far and wide in his improv work before his return to Stanford. He is now a professor in the Stanford Drama Department.

Lisa Barker

A doctoral student in Teacher Education, Lisa thinks theatre and education can intersect in delightful ways. She hopes you and yours are well.

Gabriel Benarros

Biel is not a Mathematician.

Jacob Bien

Jacob can be brief.

Peter Chapman

So, you wanna go running some time, or what?

Adam Cole

Alex Connolly

Matt Cook

Striding across campus in his western cardinal hat and boots, Matthew sums up his Stanford experience with gleeful reverence. “The challenge is thrilling, the students high-achieving, the pace demanding. Students here know how to take the bull by the horns.” Winking, he adds, “Or with a grain of salt!”

He now spends his time locked away in a dark vault, laboring endlessly on a clandestine project. Stay tuned for the unveiling of the mystery: 2040.

Patrick Davis

Patrick Davis is a name that has been passed down through generations; whispered to children during bedtime stories, shouted at enemies on the battle field. Whether man or myth, he will live on in infamy.

Nick deWilde

Improv Simplified:


Simp 1: May I have a suggestion for something I might be holding behind my back?

Audience 1: PORN!

Audience 2: GYNECOLOGIST!

Audience 1: VAGI...!

Simp 1: SANDWICH! Thank you. I heard sandwich! (begin scene, Simp 1 takes an exaggerated bite of mimed sandwich) Man I love this sandwich!

Simp 2: It looks like you really like sandwiches!

Simp 1: I sure do!

Simp 1 & 2: AAAAND SCENE.

Vikash Gilja

Ben Goldsmith

Ben feels a lot of pressure to write something witty here, which preordains that he'll fail.
Yay!

Felicity Grisham

Felicity would like to thank her father for contributing enough money for her to get accepted into SImps. She can be seen cruisin' in her Hummer, shooting her potato gun at poor riffraff around campus.

Nikki Hill

For once in her life has nothing to say...oh wait, yes she does. "Hi everyone! Hope you have a great day!"

Mary Kate Hurlbutt

We've replaced Mary Kate's bio with one that wasn't written by her. Let's see if she notices the difference...

Sean Kamkar

Sean enjoys reading Jane Austen novels, reminiscing about past loves, and fornicating with pillows. He hopes to learn how to improvise when he can't find a pillow.

Jess Lam

Rachel Lindee

Rachel Lindee is no ordinary hamster.

She's the hamster on a piano eating popcorn on a piano.

Grace Mandler

Thanks for reading my bio!

Deb Meisel

Deb loves that feeling when you laugh so hard it hurts. Laughter is also Deb's preferred form of emotional therapy, just in case it hurt a little too much.

Julia Meltzer

Julia is a pescatarian* with excellent social skills who enjoys napping, juice, soy products, Law & Order, and the plays of William Shakespeare.

*on some days she is a bacontarian.

Andrew Molina

Kevin Montag

I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me :(
HE'S JUST A POOR BOY FROM A POOR FAMILY! :)

Nathaniel Nelson

Inside the barn Nathaniel slides running to the ground before Max stops. Max enters the stall, Nathaniel following. Without looking back Max kicks at him, slamming a single foot into the wall with a pistol-like report. Nathaniel kicks him in the stomach; Max arches his neck back, croptoothed; Nathaniel strikes him across the face with his fist and slides on to the trough and mounts upon it. Clinging to the hay-rack he lowers his head and peers out across the stall tops and through the doorway. The path is empty; from here he cannot even hear Claire yelling. He reaches up and drags down hay in hurried armsful and crams it into the rack.

"Eat," he says. "Get the goddamn stuff out of sight while you got a chance, you pussel-gutted bastard. You sweet son of a bitch," he says.

Russ Nickel

Jenny Pegg

Jenny (L) is the SImps' first two-dimensional player. Despite her spatial limitations and lack of appreciation for vanishing-point geometry, Jenny enjoys many of the same activities as normal boys and girls-- things like holograms, orienteering, making facial expressions, and stacking blocks. Also dioramas, solving equations of three or more variables, and marksmanship practice with friends.

After graduation she plans to become a structural engineer.

She would like to thank Georges Braque for teaching a girl to dream.

Cameron Poter

Cameron’s interest in drama spurred from his first encounter with immense emotion—when his father accidentally raised his head into a small ceiling fan as a child. Since the collision, he has performed in several productions at Stanford and in his community. Besides improvising, Cameron enjoys skiing, scuba diving, making people laugh, singing in the shower, eating parfait, and talking to old people. He would like to thank his family and friends for all of their support over the years. He is also a very self-devoted person and thinks it is only appropriate to make his bio the longest. God bless.

Austin Quarles

Brought sexy back.

Jason Richman

Rico Roque

Rico is famous for his improvised songs, including "I Kissed Your Girlfriend." However, few people know that a mere 5 years ago, Rico could not sing at all. Though his speech was fine, any attempt to sing resulted in a frequency too high for human ears to hear. Rather than serenade dogs, Rico made a pact with an ancient demon he found in the steam tunnels under the university. The dark magics gave him the power to make up songs on the fly, but rumor has it that Rico has to follow any order accompanied by a special code. Fortunately, the code is the number of licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop, and thanks to a few bribes to a certain owl, the world may never know what the number is.

Evan Scott

Sara Silberstein

When Sara was 5 years old she asked Santa for a deep-sea fishing trip. Sara is Jewish. Sara will also be your friend.*





*If you provide her with a deep-sea fishing trip.

Claire Slattery

Claire is mysterious like Nancy Drew in hot pursuit on a Friday night. Claire is persistent like your brother sitting next to you saying repeatedly, "I'm not touching you!" during an 8-hour car ride. Claire is wild like a peacock let loose on the paths of a child's petting zoo. Claire is intense like that burning sensation when you pee.

Max Sosna-Spear

Max is expected to say something wacky and humorous in his bio because he's a SImp and not just some mundane scripted actor, but he won't. And yet, in his refusal is he not merely propagating the pattern of pointlessly inane and utterly irrelevant bios? Further, is anyone even remotely deceived by the usage of the third person into believing that Max himself is not writing this? Well, I am; I am writing this, I am Max, and I won't stand for the false-- *bang*

Teddy Steinkellner

"The world is safe...but for how long?"
-Radioactive Man # 1

Troy Steinmetz

Troy is a walking fossil, returning to active status after spending the two years since his graduation as a Stanford staff member.

He believes that Kevin Montag is really 35 years old.

Jonathan Strange

Jonathan "Shu-Fry" Strange was raised by a family of gorillas. His parents believed the world was corrupted by politicians and corporations, so that would be the best to stay untamed.

He migrated to Hunters Point in San Francisco at the age of 9 and learned to rap. He was immediately picked up by Snoop Dog, and the two of them were inseparable until Snoop stole Strange's Gangster's Paradise.

Strange then enrolled at Stanford University where he Majored in Improv with a minor in Cagefighting. He is also the Stanford Tree.

Ben Sumers

Ben is a skier - that is to say, he has sacrificed his knees, grades, happiness, good looks, and love in exchange for a goggle tan.

If you have ever met an Irish Wolfhound, he would like to know. And bond with you about them.

Shara Tonn

Ronny Votel

I love circus peanuts and puppies dressed in sweaters. I think the handkerchief is an awful idea.

Ask me about my group discounts!

Chris Young

Chris always wanted to eat a piece of his mother's piano but his appetite couldn't handle his musical...ity. So, he opted to explore the SImps where he learned love.

-A word-at-a-time bio by the intrepid retreat group of Fall 2008

Austin Zumbro

Austin has a nearly six-foot wingspan, a voracious appetite, and a fierce sense of territory. While Austin has no natural predators, poachers hunt him for his hair and his fingernails, both thought to be powerful aphrodisiacs. This has put Austin on the endangered species list. Please help us save Austin.