2006: Mike Priest. Mike almost avoided his destiny of being sexion leader by being manager, but then it happened anyway. Please don't kill him. He doesn't have a heart.	Somehow also 2006: Sammy Franco. Sammy might kill you by eating your heart. Either that or sending a T. rex in a fighter jet to shoot you with pizza missiles.
	2006: Hat Dave Borowitz, shown here sans characteristic headwear. While also more precise than the US Air Force, B-witz made a tactical error in boning John Arrillaga's daughter and getting himself indefinitely removed from the sexion. This is the kind of thing the LSJUMB Killa Trumpz generally aspire to.
	2005: Jeremy Taser Hanfai Nuts Wong. Living proof that Joey Bravo blocks probably don't get used enough. Tasernutz serves the useful function of bringing diversity and unique cultural ideas to band. Before he joined, there were very few people who hated Asians as much as he does. Now he has succeeded in attracting all sorts of racists (and races) to the sexion. Thank you, Tasernutz, for making us a more self-loathing group.
	2004: Eric Wooley. As can be seen in this picture, Eric Wooley totally takes it in the ass from everyone.
	2003: Lori "Stingray" Karns. Stingray plays trumpet OK, for a girl. She became what she is due to a rather unfortunate accident with the Branner reconstruction crew. As the first female sexion leader in a while, she attempted to secure a room in the all frosh dorm in the hopes of carrying out her plan to scam on Branner frosh (but only the ones that play drumz, of course) without all the pesky responsibilities of an RA. The construction crew had other ideas. In this picture, she is referring to the the tragic breaking and rehealing of her wrist which allows her to play the Banner solo up an octave. She would like you to know that the bruising is perfectly natural and that the burning sensation in the naughty place you asked about will pass in a few weeks.
	2002: Saif Choudhury. Saif is, well, brown. And yells a lot. He hasn't got much range, but he makes up for this by yelling a lot. Often, we don't understand what he's saying. He says that's because we're white. Saif would like to point out that it is hot. Hot in the hot tub.
	2001: Jimbo Goodenberger. Jimbo ascended to the throne upon Andy's tragic yet cosmically appropriate demise. And here, the trumpz knew, was a man. Here was a man who would smoke everything in sight, and if he couldn't smoke it, he'd fellate it. Here was a man who would fight a mell at the drop of a hat, unless the mell was larger than him or the hat belonged to the mell in question, in which case he'd stomp on it. Yeah. Unless, as I said before, the mell was larger than him. Here was a man who knew when to hold them, knew when to fold them, knew when to walk away, and knew when to boast that he would shave an "S" into his hair. Here was a man with red pubic hair.
	2000: Andy "Cousin" Rosen. Andy Rosen was born Lesane Parish Crooks in Brooklyn, NY in 1971. By the age of twelve, Andy had discovered his loves for acting, writing love songs and poetry. As a young teen, his family moved to Baltimore , MD, where he attended The Baltimore School for the Performing Arts studying acting and ballet. At this school, Andy left a lasting impression on his teachers and was showing tremendous potential. Unfortunately, Andy was unable to continue his training, moving to Stanford, California. That's when Andy began to, as he called it, "Hang with the wrong crowd." On September 7, 1996, Andy was fatally shot while hanging out the sunroof of a BMW in Las Vegas.
	1999: Evan Nordby. Evan is hairy. And has genitalia. And a squid in his ass. How do we know all this? We saw it. Of course, our eyeballs instantly burst into flame, but small matter. He never cracked during the Banner solo, unless you are from the small Eastern European country of Turdistan, where "cracked" translates as "once called seafood 'Daddy' if you catch our drift." Evan is also more precise than the US Air Force (at least that's what he tells the clarpicz.)
	1998: Ben Turek. Ben rose to the rank of sexion leader because everyone figured that he was cool because he had an earring and rode a motorcycle and could use words like "photon" and actually know what they meant. Oh, no, wait. That was why he was a tool. But he was quite lovable all the same. If you touched his nipples, he squealed with glee. And he instituted Tequila Week. Last we saw of him, he was riding his bike into the sunset (OK, the sun sets in the West and he went to Yale for grad school, but let's not be picky with imagery here) attempting to shave his testicles with a spoon.
	1997: Patrick Neschleba. The only child of seven Gregorian monks in Central Uzbekistan, Patrick discovered rhythm while banging his pet hamster "Loopy" with a meat tenderizer. He subsequently forgot all about rhythm and went on to lead a typical adolescent life, before his incident at the post office exposed him to the greater pleasures of sticky tape. "It feels kinda funky when you do it right..."
	1996: Becky Rambow. After being kidnapped by Iranian terrorists at age 12, Becky knew she had to do something with her life besides selling camels. Finding comfort in a big bottle of Tequila and the fine print of Proposition 215, Becky led the sexion to greatness when she suggested that valve oil can be used as an aphrodisiac. Today, Becky sells llamas to history majors.
	1995: Jeff Shotts. Despite what his last name would lead you to beleive, Jeff was a clean-shaven, morally upstanding bastion of righteousness as sexion leader. Which was good, because he couldn't play anything much higher than middle C, and that was on a good day. Jeff was recently indicted on charges of embezzeling investment firm funds to support his crack habit and Minnesotan mistress.
	1994: Angela Haydel. A run-in with a polar bear at age 2 came back to haunt Angela while she played the Banner solo. Her psychology background told her to go confront the beast, so she may now be found exploring the hilly terrain of central Michigan, in search of Skippy the Polar Bear and oral sex. Angela occasionally returns to the hills of San Carlos to, as she puts it, "be a mountain woman... tee hee!" Smile, nod, walk away.
	1993: Eric Smith. The poor child was lost to civilization forever when an imposter going by the name of "Sasquo" displaced Eric's inner being. Those of us who "really knew him" were always puzzled by his ignorance of Chevy Chase trivia facts. In this photo he is proudly announcing the number of Dollies he hooked up with on the last road trip.
	1992: Steve Escamilla. Having grown tired of reality, Steve now exists as a crude bit-map on a TRS-80 computer in Minnesota. While he agrees that the pixel density has severely hampered his ability to pick up women, he enjoys the simplicty of lo-res life. Unfortunately he can no longer read any of the pins on his hat, but that's okay, since he's an I.E.
	1991: Dave Nix. After an unsuccessful attempt to rename the sexion "The Trumpz Who Say 'Nix!'" Dave underwent a sex change. He plans to re-renter Stanford as Davina, Mistress of Love, and try out for Dollie, so he can gain a greater understanding of "the other side."
	1990: Eric Selvik. Poor Erik was beaten to death by Vinny the Nun shortly after his last football game. If you play the Recordings of Shak Baby backwards, you may hear him still: "eeeeeh... eeeeeh..." Every so often, the sheets in the Friendship Room rearrange themselves in the shape of Eric's penis. The cause of this phenomena is still unknown.

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