John Asbury Facts

 

 

 

 

  • If you need to check whether you have a grounding problem, just ask John Asbury to touch the ground pin because nobody's more down-to-earth than John Asbury.
  • John Asbury drinks LN2 to cool off.
  • High voltage power supplies are worried that John Asbury might touch them.
  • John Asbury can modelock a laser with his mind.
  • Once, during a power failure John Asbury powered the entire Bay Area by twiddling his thumbs so that he could continue taking data 24/7.
  • On the day John Asbury was born, every laser in the world started putting out 20% more power and increased its stability by a factor of 4.
  • The next day, John Asbury built his first modelocked Q-switched YAG using a few of his toys and some pots and pans. His design is currently used by all major laser manufacturers, but they still can't figure out how he got so much power out of it.
  • John Asbury can determine how much power a laser is putting out by sniffing the air. If it isn't performing as he likes, he gives it a swift round house to the output coupler and the laser submits to his will.
  • John Asbury can make his regen put out 27 fs pulses.
  • John Asbury can make 350 cm^-1 of bandwidth out of his OPA.
  • John Asbury can see infrared light.
  • John Asbury gets headaches from watching the 88 MHz oscillator blink.
  • John Asbury can chop the laser at 1 kHz with his little toe.
  • John Asbury can make any molecular system to follow single exponential kinetics.
  • John Asbury's cornea has a numerical aperture of 5.
  • To get better vibrational isolation, John Asbury holds his laser tables off the ground.
  • John Asbury's breath is dry and CO2 free.
  • John Asbury doesn't have to work in the molecular frame, molecules work in John Asbury's frame.
  • Unlike most people, John Asbury only needs one iris to align a beam.
  • John Asbury only needs a two-level system to achieve lasing.
  • When experiments go wrong, laser spectroscopists don't pray to God, they call John Asbury for help.