By Annamaria de Nicolais Napolitano

So saying, her rash hand in evil hour
Forth reaching to the Fruit, she pluck'd, she eat:
Earth felt the wound, and Nature from her seat
Sighing through all her works gave signs of woe,
That all was lost.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Greedily she ingorg'd without restraint,
And knew not eating Death.

--John Milton, Paradise Lost, Book IX

Since Eve's fateful and damning act, women have always, either in praise or disparagingly, been associated with food and the temptations of the flesh. While the latter association has caused rivers of ink to cover an equally large amount of pages, women's role as food suppliers ­ preparing and serving food to others ­ has received a subordinate status.

Nevertheless, until 30 or 40 years ago, women controlled and presided over the dispensation of that most sacred and traditional human interaction: the meal. It was at dinner and supper time that the entire family gathered together in a warm correspondence of solidarity with the authority figures ­ father and mother, the provider and the maker ­ well in place to ensure the physical and mental well-being of the group. It was then that daily occurrences were discussed, major announcements and decisions made and taken, and actual bonding among family members took place.

With the disintegration of the family as a whole, the reduction of food consumption time, the serialization of consumption through the spreading of supermarkets and the diffusion of fast-food chains, and, finally, the changing of traditional social and family roles, food and meals have lost much if not all of their symbolic value.

With this loss, a host of food-related disorders has spread at an alarming rate throughout modern society, denoting a lack of control and direction in that primary activity of humankind, and in the use we make of food. Self-destructive manifestations, such as bulimia, anorexia and obesity, are common in the civilized Western world precisely at a time when, for that part of the world, food is available, abundant and subject to the scrutiny of a discerning consumer.

Besides the obvious consideration that such deviant behaviors are the indication of psychologically disturbed individuals, one might propose that a misdirected organization of eating habits lies at the basis of all of them: the present lack of interest and care (perhaps excessive indulgence or permissiveness) of the nurturing family ­ in particular, the nurturing mother ­ who, in the past, from an early stage, did set paradigms for the children and made sure they followed them.

In some strata of our busy society, feminism has brought much confusion in regard to genders' new roles within the family: Women have opted for the "outside," neglecting the sacred duties connected with child rearing, and men have stepped maladroitly in the "inside," assuming both roles, thus overtaxing themselves in an attempt to prove that they could succeed where women have failed. As women cease to take an interest in anything connected with the kitchen, men become expert and gourmet cooks.

But regardless of who is the insider, the intent in the preparation of food at home and feeding it to others is the gratification of "the other."
It is a purely altruistic act, since the only satisfaction we derive from it is "the other's" very pleasure. It is the ultimate demonstration of love. To take the time to cook for someone still means "I care."

Food is also a means to attain eternal life in Christian terms: Adam and Eve became mortal after their transgressive consumption of the forbidden fruit. It is, however, through the consumption of the flesh and blood of Christ in the consecrated Host that life beyond death is restored to them. Also, food fulfills a consolatory function, especially when associated with death: the condemned man's last meal, and the meal brought over to the surviving members whenever a death occurs in a family. Not to mention the practice of "endocannibalism" common to certain Australian aborigines, who ritually ate parts of a deceased relative to ensure that he/she would continue to live in and through them.

The human condition revolves around food or, in some sad cases, the lack thereof. References to food populate our daily social intercourse. In the presence of a particularly handsome child, we often say, "He is so pretty that I could eat him!" expressing a desire to internalize what appears so desirable to our eyes. Not to mention the very true and yet trite observation "we are what we eat" and the Latin saying Mens sana in corpore sano (A sound mind in a sound body) made popular in America by John F. Kennedy in the '60s.

Food stimuli are all around us, outside as well as inside our very home via the omnipresent media. Subtle or vulgar ads urge us to eat according to the criteria
of remote large corporations.

In the final analysis we "eat" our way through life or "we are made to eat life." ST

Annamaria de Nicolais Napolitano directs Stanford's Italian Language program. She has written two poetry books, To Know the Desert and Where the Desert was a River. !