When a Co-worker Dies
Effects on Individuals
Employees working in departments who have lost a staff member due to death
may experience a number of feelings over the days and weeks following the
death. Strong personal bonds are often formed within work groups, and the
experience of grieving a co-worker's death can be profound. The intensity
of reactions will vary among individuals, but the following experiences are
common:
- numbness, shock and disbelief
- decreased concentration and memory
- increased anxiety
- sleep disturbances, fatigue
- change in eating habits
- sadness, tearfulness
- headaches, muscle tension, stomach ache
- irritability, frustration
- depression, emptiness
Effects in the Workplace
Departments which have recently experienced a loss due to death are presented
with a number of issues. There may be difficulties with productivity and
attendance for those most affected by the loss. If new information abut the
deceased emerges at the time of death, or if events surrounding the death
are upsetting, some employees may be shocked, anxious or confused.
Decisions about the deceased employee's possessions, work space and job
responsibilities will have to be made; it is important that these decisions
are made with a sensitivity for all those affected. There might be feelings
of guilt, resentment or uneasiness for staff members who assume roles previously
handled by the deceased coworker. Also, certain work situations may serve
as reminders of the loss, and may trigger grief reactions unexpectedly.
It is important to understand that the emotional environment
at work will be changed for a period of time, and that everyone will have
their own unique reaction to the loss. Acknowledging and discussing the impact
of the death can help with the process. In addition to offering counseling
services for individuals, the Faculty and Staff Help Center (FSHC) can also
provide facilitators to lead discussions in departments who would like to
meet as a group.
Things to do
Be aware of each other
If it appears that someone is having a serious problem coping with the death,
express concern and encourage them to seek professional assistance through
the FSHC or other resources (see list below).
Accept that work may be affected
You and your co-workers' job performance and interactions may be affected by
the stress. In time, things will return to normal. If the death is suicide,
homocide, unexpected or occurred in the workplace, the emotional trauma experienced
will be more severe and the need for outside help will be greater.
Contact the family of the deceased
Consider sending cards, flowers or other gifts, such as a book of memories
written by the staff, to a surviving spouse or child.
Attend or organize a memorial service
Whether conducted on or off the work site, a memorial service can be another
important step for acknowledging feelings and coming to terms with the death.
Consider establishing a memorial at work
Buying a bench or planting a tree are examples of ways to honor the deceased.
At the Stanford Grief and Loss Website (see "Stanford Resources" below) an
online memorial message may be created.
Serious Illness, Death, and Grieving
at Work:
Guidelines for Supervisors and Managers
When employees are affected by the death of a co-worker, personal loss,
or serious illness, managers and supervisors are faced with the challenge
of insuring that employees are adequately supported while work responsibilities
are being met. The following suggestions are intended to help supervisors
when these difficult situations arise.
Helping an employee who is grieving
Be sensitive and straightforward. Create an atmosphere of open communication
for everyone. Make contact with the grieving employee as soon as possible.
It is important to acknowledge their grief and loss openly, even though
it may feel awkward to initiate a conversation. Feel free to share a caring
reaction to their loss while being sensitive to the confidential nature of
personal or medical information.
Expect to do more listening than talking. Patience, compassion optimism
and availability are helpful qualities to demonstrate. Be sure to ask what
you can share and what is confidential, and ask about specific things you
can do to help.
Don't be surprised if the employee needs to talk about the loss many times,
especially during holidays and anniversaries, which may be very difficult.
It is common for people who have experienced a loss to exhibit periodic tears,
low spirits and uneven productivity for a while.
Grief can last quite a while. Don't expect a quick recovery.
The process is different for everyone. The supervisor's job is to create
an accepting environment, where the process of grieving is treated as normal,
yet work still gets done. If an individual seems to be slipping into depression
and you are concerned about the level or severity of their reaction, the
Faculty and Staff Help Center (FSHC) is a good place to go for consultation,
or to refer the employee.
In cases of loss from suicide, homicide, workplace death,
or death of a child, reactions are normally quite severe and you can advise
the employee about the usefulness of individual counseling and support groups.
The FSHC can provide brief counseling services and make referrals to suitable
groups and therapists in the community.
In the case of serious illness
Become familiar with the health status, capabilities and medical restrictions
of the affected employee that affects their work, and make reasonable accommodations.
Realize there may be periods of absenteeism or hospitalization to stabilize
their condition. Be watchful that people don't exceed their limitations.
It is helpful to consult with Human Resources about leave guidelines and
adjusting job responsibilities.
Respect privacy, but encourage the affected employee to share with you
whatever information they feel comfortable sharing about their illness or
other problems, and direct them to appropriate resources when necessary.
Be realistic when discussing plans about work. The Faculty and Staff Help Center, Human Resources and the Benefits Office can help with planning for
returning to work or leaving the workplace. Everyone benefits when employees
maintain a sense of self-esteem, identity and integrity as long as possible.
When
a staff member dies
Meet with your staff to clarify the facts, talk about feelings and acknowledge
the grieving process. Unanticipated deaths may require additional times to
talk. Faculty and Staff Help Center counselors are available to facilitate meetings where feelings
are particularly strong. In cases of suicide, homicide, or a death that occurred
at work, debriefing the staff may be particularly important. Decisions about
the deceased person's work space, belongings and job responsibilities will
need to discussed and handled sensitively.
Notify your Human Resources Officer and the Benefits Office. The Stanford
Report is available to handle the public notice of the death.
It is important that employees know of memorial or funeral arrangements
and have time to attend. Appropriate acknowledgment of the employee who died
is important. A tribute in the newspaper, a charitable donation, a gift to
the family, or some other public acknowledgment might be discussed with the
staff.
Helping other staff
When possible, ensure that your staff knows the facts about what happened
and about funeral or memorial plans. Mention that there are resources available
within the organization and the community to help cope during stressful times
(see list at the end of this brochure).
Mutual support and sharing among the staff should be encouraged, as well
as expressions of grief and sympathy to families and loved ones. Sometimes
it is valuable to have one employee volunteer to be the primary on-site contact
with the family.
In very difficult situations such as suicide, homicide, or a workplace
death, shock, disbelief, fear and confusion are common. Open discussion can
help clarify the facts, dispel rumors and facilitate the grieving process.
Faculty and Staff Help Center counselors are available to lead group discussions.
If the grief affects many staff members, it may take some time for things
to return to business as usual. It may be impossible for some employees to
work at their normal level of productivity, at least temporarily. Co-workers
who take on extra workloads during such a transition should be appreciated
and acknowledged.
Stanford Resources
Web Resources for Grief and Serious Illness
National Organizations
Hospice
Local Support and Counseling
Other Resources
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