"G-g-g-g-g-get Over It:” Dealing With Relationship Disappointment in Jonathan Kahn’s Girl

Anonymous

During adolescence many girls experience a troubling loss of self-esteem. They may, among other things, stop expressing their own opinions, develop body image issues, and become depressed. There are varying degrees of identity and self-esteem issues. One girl may be disappointed that she wasn’t asked to Homecoming, and decide to go with a friend, while another girl could conclude that no one asked her because she is disgusting and spend the week crying. Jonathan Kahn’s Girl stars Dominique Swain as Andrea Marr, a seemingly well-adjusted high school senior. Andrea, smart and attractive, comes from an affluent Portland suburb and plans to attend Brown in the fall. She idolizes her friend Cybil, who could care less about being cool and yet is so cool. Andrea’s life is “suddenly set in motion” when she sees Todd Sparrow, lead singer for the local band The Color Green and then we begin to see how much she desires to be recognized. I don’t believe that that desire in and of itself is negative, but its affect on Andrea’s life is less than positive.

Andrea’s life is then dominated by being “cool enough” to be Todd’s girlfriend and her friends’ value becomes determined by what they can do to help her get to him. For all her efforts she is rewarded with a relationship of sorts. She’s thrilled with the status of being Todd’s “girlfriend” and ignores that their relationship is based only on sex. Her self-worth depends on feeling like she has won his favor. This is problematic when he leaves to tour and she realizes that her feelings for him are not mutual. Todd does return, but before he does two of Andrea’s friends tell her how highly they think of her. One wants to be her, and the other, Cybil, tells Andrea that she was the inspiration for her album. When Todd and Andrea meet after his return he tells her that he needs her, that he can’t tour without her, that she’s changed him and his music. Andrea is not impressed and leaves him alone in bed. In the time that he was gone, Andrea realized that her friends value and recognize her outside of her role as his girlfriend. I think this allows her to no longer depend on him to feel good about herself. Perhaps the dependence has just shifted to her friends. Or perhaps they’ve given her a foundation that allows her depend on no one.